Babies and Sleep

I'm not quite sure why sleep is such an obsession in our society. It almost seems like a competition among moms. When strangers talk to you about your baby, they are bound to ask how they're sleeping. When your baby doesn't sleep through the night it can feel like you are the only one and you must be doing something wrong. I really struggled with this when Claire was a baby. I read every book I could get my hands on about sleep, I compared her sleep habits with my friend's babies. I looked at the clock whenever she woke up and kept track of how many hours she had slept. I was exhausted and frustrated. Many nights I brought her to bed with me out of sheer exhaustion. We somehow made it through those sleepless nights and I realized in hindsight how very short that time was. Now at two Claire doesn't always sleep through the night. A couple nights a week she ends up in bed with Denis and I. She's growing up so fast so I soak up all the snuggles I can get. Before long she won't want to cuddle in bed with mommy and daddy.

When Jack was born I had a totally different approach. I had done a ton of research on co sleeping and bed sharing. It turns out bed sharing is just as safe and some research even concludes is safer than an infant sleeping alone. I spent the first two or so months after Jack was born holding him. I made use of my moby wrap so I would have arms free but the only time I put him down was when we went to sleep at night and then he slept next to me. I savoured his newborn sounds and the way his body curled up on my chest. He was comforted by my smell and the sound of my heartbeat and was rocked by the motion of my body when I moved. He was inside me for nine months after all so this is what was familiar to both of us.

When night time came I would start by putting him in a crib next to me and then bring him in to bed at the next wake up. Eventually we've transitioned to my bed completely since he seems to sleep much better there. I have no idea how many times he wakes up a night or how long of a stretch he does because I do not wake up enough at night to look at a clock. It's amazing how the primal mother in me takes over and I put him to the breast and we both fall back into a deep sleep without me even being conscious of it.
 

Is this method right for everyone? No, but it is absolutely right for our family. Even though my baby wakes through the night I feel well rested for the most part because I never fully wake at night.

I wish more moms knew that babies waking at night was normal. It doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. Babies that sleep ten hour stretches are the exception not the rule. I wish they knew that no matter how many books you read and how much you obsess over it, your baby will still wake. I wish they knew that before you know it your baby will no longer be a baby and you will miss those snuggles. I wish I had known all of this the first time around.




An excellent article on how to share sleep safely can be found here



And an article on the benefits of co co sleeping can be found here